Cooking Up CompSAt

by  Jezreel Montehermoso, Richard Bunyi and Mac Mac Jison

A good steak needs to be marinated overnight and cooked for a good four hours to achieve that delectably juicy awesomeness. Paella needs tons of ingredients to get to the artery-clogging level that we all know and love. Don’t even get me started on how many folds you need to do in order to make a tasty croissant.

Stuffed turkey, creamed lobster, strawberry cheesecake, and all kinds of food beyond regular cafeteria rabble need time and effort to become the amazing sensation that will shock our taste buds into seizures. Likewise, a well-made CompSAt Experience just isn’t right without prior preparation.

A well-made CompSAt Experience needs a perfect balance of ingredients and procedures. A lack of ingredient may make the dish too bland, and too much of an ingredient might make the taste overwhelming. The same can be said to cooking time or even marinating time – too much or too less will destroy the dish. We’re here to tell you how to not screw up in those regards so listen up.

What kind of dish is a CompSAt Experience you ask? Well, it’s kind of like a steamed cream dory, but ten times more awesome. First we need some fresh fishies. Yes, a good CompSAt Experience needs some fresh fishies and where do we get those? Well, from the Launch of course. We’ll need to get 5 pounds of Creamy Dory Newbies bundled into convenient packages. You’ve got some Jigglypuff, Cloud, Ezio, Link, and Yoda. However, the packaging is not limited to those five mentioned. There’s also IA, EA, DnP, FnM, LnP or even RnD. Rest assured, they’re all good. If you don’t know what these are, then you’d better ask the locals. Finally, throw in some Algorhythm strips and we’re ready for some cooking.

Toss them all in some room, say CTC 102, and set them aside for a day or so. Monday would be a good day to do this. Oh! and make sure they’re in a tableau. It makes them tender enough for cooking. After that, you cook them in the overwhelming love, joy, and goodness of CompSAt.

Then, we make a hefty amount of Tambay sauce, lots and lots of sauce, ‘cause come on, who doesn’t like sauce? To begin, we need a bowl of some sort. Fortunately, we have our handy-dandy Colayco saucepan for such a need. We pour in a cup of Just Dance sauce for that zesty sweet sensation and then, let’s mix in some Rock Band soup for that extra kick. Add console games to your liking. Seriously, toss in anything that seems good. This isn’t the period to hold back. But in the off chance that it does become too flavorful, don’t be afraid to add in a cup or so of rainwater (excessive amounts can be disastrous).

Now that we have a nice blend of sauces in the pan, it’s time to add in the herbs and spices. Get 4 tablespoons of jam sessions, a teaspoon of grated geek shirts, and a tablespoon of Magic Sing seasoning (buy from participating core team members and get Serenitea gift checks for free! Promo expired last July 19). Mix them all using those well practiced whirling and twirling motions of a neighborhood Link or Jigglypuff.

To top it all off, we need some GA1 garnish (or GArnish for short). Now, that GArnish should be edible and presentable. In the first place, who wouldn’t want something that’s not edible (This is not a rhetorical question. The answer is in the human bingo)? And in the second place, who would eat something that looks awful (This one is rhetorical)?

For the appealing GArnish, we have to prepare a lot of stuff. We need 5 bulbs of fresh CompSAt spirit, chopped finely. Oh wait! Scratch that. We’re going to need a lot more than that. Make it 7 bulbs or even 40. Then we need half a cup of chopped core team members. We need chopped EB+AC, chopped PackMans, and chopped packagemates. Of course, a good GArnish should have HITs teams added to the mix and again, these have to be chopped. Add in a dash of upcoming events, and highlights, or maybe even some GDs and your GArnish is set.

Pour your Tambay sauce and decorate your fish with GArnish and you’d have completed your masterpiece. Now you can enjoy your homemade CompSAt Experience/CompSAt style steamed cream dory. Is the name of the dish a mouthful? Fret not, the only thing your mouth needs to do is chew, chew, chew, and swallow. Well then, see you on our next recipe!